My Fitbit battery died and I can't find my charger. I feel naked, but I haven't been syncing it for a while now. On the one hand I love seeing my steps every day and on the other hand I get so frustrated that my step count is so low. I am too young to feel this old! I know some of it is my weight and lifestyle choices and the other part is my medical issues. I keep imagining the day that I wake up and nothing hurts. Right now, I've been down with an intestinal virus for the last few days and that has been so much fun (can you sense my sarcasm?).
Over the weekend, we went to Clinton State Park to watch my husband's crazy friend run a 100 mile marathon. I still can't even believe it. A hundred miles without stopping through rain, rocky trails, steep climbs, and at certain points, total darkness except for a head lamp. My husband paced him for about 10 miles on the last leg of the run and came back covered in mud and scrapes, soaking wet. His white socks were black. I haven't the faintest idea how you convince your body to push through those kind of extremes. It's inspiring and mind boggling all at the same time.
We pitched a tent in the camping area, but the weather was miserable - impossibly humid and over 90 degrees. My allergies kicked up and I was snorking and wheezing and my eye was puffed up so we drove to a gas station and I dosed myself with Benedryl. It's the only way I was able to pass out for a couple of hours at a time. I woke up drenched in sweat and smelling of swamp moose. And I was just a spectator. I can't imagine what it was like for the runners.
I may never be able to run 100 miles, but that isn't one of my goals. My goals are "me" sized and I just keep pushing every single day. Small victory - I was able to get in and out of our tent without a struggle. I couldn't do that a few years ago. I pulled all the tent stakes out of the ground by myself. I stood for several hours, outside in the hot sun and didn't pass out (yes, I have fainted from too much heat on numerous occasions). And now I find myself thinking, if I could do those things overweight and doped up on Benadryl, what can I do when I put my mind to something?
It's been a while since I got my Manadee tattoo, but every time I see her in the mirror, I remember "Oh, Yes I Can!" This year I'm getting a new tattoo, another reminder to keep going, to keep pushing, to keep my head held high. I'm emblazoning the words of Bianca Del Rio on my shoulder, "Not today Satan, Not today!"
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