You ever have that moment where there are just too many decisions to make and you're suddenly paralyzed, stuck, unable to figure out what to do next so you just don't do anything? You play on your phone or binge watch Netflix wearing stretchy pants that still need washed because at least then you don't have to think about the looming pile of tasks that desperately need your attention, like now. You're not alone, you're not crazy, and we can totally get through this, trust me.
I'm sharing from inside an ADHD and anxiety brain, a body that has more bad days than good ones, and yet I still hold onto this unwavering optimism. I had a really interesting conversation with my therapist the other day about past trauma and daily struggles and the fact that I get worried a lot and am often looking for doom around every corner, and yet I still consider myself an optimist. And she said, "You absolutely are. It's the only way you have survived everything you've been through and are still able to love people."
It's so very true. I realized a very long time ago that people will always let you down, hurt you, disappoint you, because they are human and they screw up and learning to forgive and let go feels so much lighter than holding onto all that baggage. Don't get me wrong, some people and situations aren't right for you - they don't feed you, so you walk away, and it's hard and it hurts, but that doesn't mean that you don't keep looking for the next right person, right situation on the horizon. I just keep fumbling imperfectly through each day, doing the very best I can knowing that some days are going to be amazing and some are going to suck, but moment to moment we grow and evolve, and that's what makes us beautiful.
So yeah, I might get overwhelmed and let the dishes pile up while I eat take out nachos in front of the TV, because we all have those seasons, but the best thing I can do, the best we can do is to love ourselves anyway. To allow ourselves the moments of feeling overwhelmed or stuck, and then to sit with those emotions and realize that we're human and that's ok. Today I'm writing my blog, I'm making a list of absolutely everything I need to get done and then circling only the things that need my immediate attention, like feeding the cats, and then I'm going swimming with my friends, because today, that's what I need to get unstuck.
It's way too easy to get caught up in what we think we want or should want or how everyone else seems to be succeeding where we are failing, but the truth is none of that really matters. What do you want for your life? What fuels you, drives you, makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning? That's what you should be chasing. And if you haven't found that yet, what are you waiting for? It sounds cliché, but it's so true, we have this one life, this one amazing life, and we get to choose every day how we spend it. So stop beating yourself up for getting stuck. Acknowledge it and then move forward. Wash a load of laundry, watch a video from the training course you just bought, call your best friend, go swimming. Focus on living in this moment, because that's the only one we are guranteed.
Creating my own sunshine 🌞