The weirdest thing just happened. I was hungry and rummaging through the kitchen for a snack. I did not choose a cookie, or chocolate, or even egg rolls - I had an egg, scrambled with cheese. As I was cooking said egg, I thought man I wish I had some bell peppers, and spinach, oh, and mushrooms! My brain actually wanted me to binge eat vegetables. I think this is a good sign. After a series of very bad days, I have chosen to switch to my alter ego, Manadee. She is much more chill and realizes that when life hands you lemons, you don't just burn life's house down.
Yesterday, I went to the gym and worked hard with my trainer. I can now do the leg press machine on the lowest setting...with just one leg. Bam. Whose got skills? Then, I came home and ate some lunch and I was tired, so I took a nap. No biggie. When I woke up, I thought, I'll do laundry so I started doing that for a while. Then I got a little overwhelmed with all the laundry, so I thought, I'll make my bed and clean out the closet. I finished making the bed, but the closet was a little scary, so I moved on and started cleaning the kitchen.
I did not finish a single task that I started yesterday, but you know what? Today, I am wearing clean pants and had a pan to cook eggs in and dishes to eat off of. This made me so happy that I did my hair and wore my good shirt - even though I don't have a job. I realized that it's not about how everybody else does it. I'm just gonna do me, one day at a time, and eventually I'll have a whole clean room. Score one for Manadee.
I'm a blogger and educator breaking through stigmas and helping women find their voice.